brenthor:

i can name more fictional characters than i have friends

hallloween:

me at sleepovers

oomshi:

stop fucking flirting with my crush do you want to die omg

waitinforthebus:

what a great nap, i feel totally disoriented and i’m frothing with hate 

indiandaughter:

i’ll pay you $7 to have a crush on me

foxnewsofficial:

i’m not like other girls i’m a boy

snowllux:

the-yolocaust:

[STEALS THE BIKE AND RUNS]

AT LEAST RIDE IT YOU ASSHOLE

frozenfoods:

[esteban voice] thees ees a deesaster

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

hontou:

hahehehehah